Deep Breath and a Leap of Faith

So we have determined at the TDM that the twins will be going with us because we are a NREFM(non related extended family member). It basically means we are friends of the family and that we are the closest to the twins' family without actually being their family. It has been a load of stress of uncertainty if we are getting the babies in our custody or not. With the addition of two beautiful girls coming to our house, we also are going on vacation(just my husband and I cuz nana and paps have our other 2 kids) to St. Martin. I think even though it's an added stress to get everything done asap it's good because now we can relax and enjoy our time together before our lives are turned around with two blessings in addition to our own blessings. I was washing baby clothes and pretty much everything last night and putting it all away and it hit me that we are getting babies. Now our twins who we are fostering are only a month old. I have never had twins. I am a little nervous, b

"Every time we treat someone like they are ordinary we turn the wine back to water." -Bob Goff I have struggled with God's purpose in my life for many years now. I have wanted to be a surrogate, lead children and try and help out in a big way. I feel like just when I get going at something God shuts all the doors to the things I was pursuing. Honestly, it has been frustrating at the least and has lead me to believe that maybe God just wants simple things out of me..but I know that couldn't be true(aparently I don't take no for an answer..). I know that I am a mother and a wife, but my greatest roll is a daughter of God and that role above all else just didn't seem enough. I have prayed for many years about God using me in a big way and that I would be ready. I've had such a desire to help children. Surrogate, Birth Choice, children's ministry..I've always wanted to adopt, but my husband has always had a struggle with it. He didn't understand